Archive for November, 2009
As with many people, I woke up today thinking about Thanksgiving and giving thanks. I was thinking that here in Arlington, Virginia and with people I know directly that first Thanksgiving is very remote. The people who gave thanks at that time are not people I can recognize as my forbears. My ancestors from their several strains all arrived long after that, looking for a land of bounty and freedom.
Gratitude for bounty is certainly a point of resonance, and something that I feel deeply. The bounty that my family experiences is beyond the imagining of those first celebrants. Let us hope that our gratitude combines with our wishes for sufficiency for people struggling everywhere and our meager efforts to lend a hand, creating a wave that will be felt elsewhere.
I also think of the peril of earlier times. Our perils today are different, but no less real. As I think of the people who will be gathered today for Thanksgiving and of other loved ones who will not be with us in person, I am grateful beyond measure for the community that supports me and the people dear to me through our own perils.
In the background I am listening to Jay Winter Nightwolf, a native American, and his radio program. He carries the message of the beauty of many of the native ways, and also the message that many native Americans are far from experiencing bounty and live in real peril. Awareness is the first step to action.
I am feeling full to the brim with love and connectedness and support. I can reach out in many directions and find people about whom I care deeply and who care about me. Letting our sense of abundance and love flow from us to the people we touch is no doubt the greatest gift we can give and our greatest expression of thanks.
November 26th, 2009
One month ago today my father died. An amazing number of people reached out to me with great kindness. This is not a discussion of the death of a loved one, rather a sharing of my discovery of love and support from those who care.
As condolence after sympathy after loving wish came in to me I began to feel them weaving together into a fabric that folded around me. This cloak of love became an insulation providing me time and space for my grief. It was a wonderful experience that truly helped me with the process.
Of course I could not have had this experience without telling some people about his death. I needed to allow people to know, to be open and vulnerable to that extent in order to receive their caring.
I am reminded of Abbey Lincoln’s song “Throw It Away”. “Throw it away. Give your life, give your love each and every day. Keep your hand wide open, let the sunshine through. You can never lose a thing if it belongs to you.”
I have greater appreciation than ever for the love and generosity of my friends. And deep gratitude. I responded to each kindness I received to complete the circle of love.
November 19th, 2009
I have just had the privilege and expansive experience of being the mother of the groom in a joyous wedding.
I suppose all weddings are joyous. Yet, with these two, each is so warm and caring and generous that they make a very special couple. The many observations and wishes that day attested to this. Everyone was saying they are a wonderful couple.
I was surprised at the many thank yous that were extended to me. I did not know that people would thank me for being allowed to be at the celebration, especially people I had not previously known well. And, of course, the bride and groom created the guest list as well as all the plans.
I came to appreciate that allowing people to participate in the joyful experience is a gift to them. Just as their participation is a gift to us.
Many times I have heard people speculating about wedding celebrations and wondering if whatever the cost of a large gathering might be better directed to enhancing the new couple’s life together after the wedding. That is a practical suggestion that ignores completely the value of community. My experience was that the joy felt in the community of celebrants magnified and reflected back the joy of the couple and the families.
I was asked to make the welcome to celebrants at the reception. My key message to the gathered well wishers was: Today we are all a family, joined in our joy at this new marriage and our pledge of support for this new couple.
Unity and community are felt deeply at emotional times. What would it be like to recognize and feel them deeply at all times? And to accept the resonance that others bring to what we are feeling?
November 18th, 2009
