Being the Future: creativefacilitating.com Blog

Grateful for Gratitude

This is the season of gratitude. In gratitude to family and friends we make an extra effort to show our appreciation. In gratitude for being given life on this earth we reach out and make donations to groups that are trying to ease life for others who are in difficulty. Gratitude is an opening emotion– it opens the heart and I feel it opening my posture as I experience it.

Gratitude grows out of acceptance. Alan Sieler tells us in “Coaching to the Human Soul: Ontological coaching and Deep Change, volume II” [Newfield Australia, 2007] that “as a mood, Gratitude is not triggered by specific events. Gratitude is an ongoing feeling of gratefulness and appreciation for our life circumstances and how we are able to participate in life”. (p. 306) We often think about gratitude as being directed toward another person or life circumstance. We can also be grateful for ourselves. When we ask what it is about ourselves for which we are grateful, we can only answer with those things which we have accepted in ourselves. To notice is powerful. When we notice we can accept.

Gratitude is one of the emotions of positivity. Barbara Fredrickson in her book, “Positivity” [Crown Publishers, USA, 2009] reports research that reveals the transformative nature of positivity. She states that “gratitude opens your heart and carries the urge to give back– to do something good in return, either for the person who has helped you or for someone else.” She does ask us to guard against what she calls the “evil twin” indebtedness. (p. 41)

One constant source of wonder and gratitude for me is nature: leaves outside my window, bare twigs vibrating in the wintry bluster, frost on the morning grass, the penetrating warmth of sunshine, the smoothness of a stone that has been polished by water and wear, the smell of the air after a rain, the sound of a squirrel moving through the leaves, the warble of a songbird, the taste of a fresh-plucked berry.

With an open heart I can be more present for other people and more available to them. I would like for every day to be a day of gratitude. I have begun asking each morning “What am I grateful for today?” I leave the question hanging there in the air, knowing that as I progress through the day many things will then arise to fill in the answer.

Add comment December 8th, 2010

Strengthening practice

It has been cold and blustery here in the DC area. Sunday I was raking leaves in the wind because my neighbor’s trees drops its leaves after all the others are done. I thought it was humorous to rake leaves in a wind that could quickly scatter them after I lifted the rake. And I thought of Sisyphus rolling his boulder uphill. I realized, though, that with this fifth raking of the season I was taking the work in stride. I believe I was finally in shape for it, having been strengthened by the earlier work. Unlike Sisyphus who might not have taken any joy from the strength he was gaining, I was appreciative of the role of practice.

In coaching we urge people to adopt practices that will strengthen some “muscle” they will then use in life or work. For instance, if you are trying to be more relaxed and open with people at work, maybe you’ll smile at yourself in the mirror every morning to remind yourself that a smile is a quick way to relax. The phrase “baby steps” is used frequently in speech, usually about someone else I fear. Adopting some baby steps is a great way of growing into a behavior you would like to bring to the world. And sometimes you can determine some small steps that make a small difference in themselves.

Studies of world class masters in several fields have shown that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to achieve that level of mastery. How can we expect success with a new behavior or new endeavor on the first try? Sometimes it may feel futile, but perseverance is rewarded.

At the end of the day, I had raked and bagged 6 more bags of leaves.

Add comment December 7th, 2010